hai TheRe…
it’s all about being single and happy…tempo hari aQ dapet kenalan dari mailing list yg aQ ikutin…dia punya sebuah tulisan di blognya dia yg jujur buat aQ merasa kalo gak selamanya gak punya pacar itu buruk, gak selamanya gak punya pacar itu gak laku,,hehe,,ato gak selamanya belum nikah itu jelek,,;)..intinya sih nikmatin hidup..hehe..i think sapa pun yg baca blogQ ini kudu baca tulisan itu..terutama buat para cewe yg ngrasa kalo punya cowo adalah segalanya,,sorry niy bukan menjudge ato apa it’s just…jangan meratapi nasib hanya karena gak kunjung punya pacar, gak kunjung di lamar ama pacar,ato gak kunjung merit,,hehe,,
and this is the story…:))
Tulisan ini gue mau dedikasikan buat seluruh wanita di Indonesia (terutama), di dunia (kalo bisa dan ngerti), dan yang terpenting untuk beberapa sahabat yang memberi inspirasi utk nulis artikel ini.
Semalam, entah sengaja ataupun ngga, gue nerima 3 berita sekaligus dari tiga orang sahabat, yang tentunya ngga mengenakkan hati. Berita pertama, adalah sahabat gue tercinta yang ada di luar negri, yang lagi berusaha setengah mati (sebenernya yang lebih berusaha setengah mati adalah gue dan neng otty karna nyoba ngerubah pola pikir sohib kita itu) untuk ninggalin ‘cinta mati’nya, tapi masih keliatan ragu-ragu banget. Ya wajar sih, namanya juga cinta mati. Siapapun pasti bisa ngerti, siapapun pasti bisa terima. Yang ngga bisa kita terima adalah kalo si cinta mati itu, alih-alih menganggap sobat kita cinta-matinya juga, malahan berkesan ‘mempermainkan’ perasaan sobat gue, dengan modus HTI (hmmm… sounds familiar, isnt it?). Tapi ya itu… kadang-kadang cinta mati bikin kita ga bisa liat kenyataan. Ngga bisa mikir lurus. (Well, wise man said that we can’t be smart and in love at the same time!)
Kedua, sahabat gue yang juga gue sangat cintai, a single mom with three (kids). My dear bestfriend whom I call ‘mommy’ juga membawa kabar sedih. Beliau baru saja memutuskan (sepertinya) untuk menolak pinangan seorang pria yang smart, baik, dan juga sangat mencintainya. Tapi jujur, gue lega akan keputusannya. Lho, kenapa? Apa gue ga mau mom bahagia? Siapa bilang! Karena pria itu… masih punya istri. He has everything o’right, but his everything is including her wife!!! Sedihnya, mom pernah bilang kalau maminya justru yang mendorong supaya mom nerima pria itu. Maminya pernah bilang ‘lebih baik dgn yg sudah menikah tapi se-iman, daripada…’ Ah… ngerti kan?
Kabar ketiga adalah salah satu teman gue yang juga sangat baik. She looks like having this ’single-woman-crisis’. My dear good friend, in her thirty something, is forced by her family to be hurry looking for a guy to get married to. And i guess she is so stressed, that she (mudah2an gue salah!) will easily say yes to ANY men who come forward. Dan hal ini sempet jadi masalah, karena ada banci rese yang dengan ga sopannya flirting sama temen gue ini, dan ketika temen gue menyambut dengan bahagia, tu banci malah ‘kabur’ dengan nyebar gosip kalo dia sebenernya mau merid sama orang lain. Dasar BANCI!!!
Those three stories that come to me at the same day really piss me off. I mean REALLY REALLY PISS ME OFF!!!
What happen with us, WOMEN, actually?
Is it so important (to us) that we -women- should loose our ability to think straight, to be able to choose which one is really an eligible man and which one is an ASSHOLE? Or is it only about the goddamned word name “STATUS”?
Yup, as we all know, our beloved culture secara langsung maupun ngga langsung telah membuat opini tentang status seorang wanita. Cewe lewat 25taun belum nikah, jadi omongan. Cewe jadi janda ditinggal meninggal, jadi omongan. Cewe jadi janda karena cerai, jadi omongan. Cewe janda buru2 kawin, jadi omongan. Cewe janda ngga kawin2, juga jadi omongan. Sementara cowo, yang masih jomblo sampe umur 40taun, dianggap wajar, paling2 karna keasikan kerja. Cowo duda, buru2 disuruh kawin. Cowo cerai, yang diomongin mantan istrinya.
Dan opini-opini ini secara ngga sadar merasuk menyerap ke dalam alam bawah sadar kita, para wanita. Umur 27, punya pacar, ngga dilamar2, udah gelisah. Umur 27, belum punya pacar, lebih gelisah! Dan gelisah-gelisah ini yang sering ngedorong kita untuk berbuat hal-hal ‘bodoh’. Such as, keeping ourself hooked on to such jerk who is -not only NOT eligible but also- obviosly doesnt love us, or letting us to accept any kind of man, I really mean ANY, or even forcing ourself to marry a very non-available man!
O Girl… What happen with US???
Padahal, harusnya, being single is fine for us. We dont have to be intimidated with such word name STATUS. We do have our own status. SINGLE. It’s definitely a status. And we also can add more on our status. HAPPY. Yup. Being Single and Happy.
I do have a ‘living witness’, a bestfriend who live this kind of life. She choose to be stay single, and she is surely so happy with her life. Doi pernah bilang, “buat apa punya cowo tapi kurang ajar (yup, she had a trauma), dan buat apa merid kalo suami bisa selingkuh sama cewe lain (and yup again, she had that experience with her parents)”. At the beginning, I think she’s too scare to face life (if I dont want to use word ‘chicken’ coz she’s my very very bestfriend’). But look at her now. She is obviously AWAY from problems like I sometimes have. She doesnt have to cope with someone (hehehe, kadang2 itu sering jadi masalah kaaannn…). She can do ANYTHING she likes without having someone to tell her what to do and what not to do. She is surely being HERSELF!
Dan waktu temennya nggodain dia dengan bilang “lu yakin ga mau punya cowo? Punya cowo itu enak lhooo…” dia dengan coolnya reply “Oh iya, bagus deh kalo emang gitu buat elu, gue bahagia. Tapi kalo gue, gue ngga kepengen aja (punya cowo).“
Gue bukannya mau ngedorong semua cewe utk tidak menikah. Suer ngga. Tapi gue cuma mau kasih tau, that it is SO OKAY to be single. We have our own life, girls! Dont ruin it and turn to be someone that is not YOU just because you push urself to marry someone that doesnt ‘click’ you.
Satu hal yang kadang kita, cewe-cewe, suka lupa. Bersembunyi dibalik quote “cewe itu dipilih, dan cowo itu milih”, we tend to forget that, hei, we can choose too! We HAVE to choose! The choice is also in our hand ladies, please do remember that!
Marrying someone is about ‘having a lifetime commitment with someone whose have negative and positive side in one package’! (terminologi dari otty, thanks girl!) So we do have to WARN ourself when we start to make a decision to commit with someone. Apa iya, gue bener-bener cocok sama cowo ini? Apa iya cowo ini yang baik buat gue? Apa gue tahan hidup sampe mati sama dia?
Do we “CLICK” each other?
And if the answer is NO, or at least you dont know what is the exact answer, please… jangan ragu-ragu untuk “cabut”. Because, when you start to say “I love you, but…”, it means that you actually cant “really” ACCEPT him, the whole him, for you! So, will you spend the rest of your life with the guy that is not-acceptable? Will you be able to ‘handle’ the upcoming problems that will come to you along with the un-acceptable-ness? If you think you are quite capable, Will you STRONG enough to experience it for the rest of ur life?
So, my dear girlfriends… when we say “I DO”, make sure that we say it to the right person.
Make sure we say it to our MR RIGHT.
And when that mister still hasn’t come, please don’t be too worry. Because, being SINGLE is also FUN!
see,,,this is all about DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY..:))